Losing a best friend is harder than I thought

Now I need some advice from you guys, my loyal readers. I've made the decision last weekend to end my "best friend"ship with well my best friend. I just feel like we're at two different levels in our lives right now. I mean he's changing in ways that the old him never would have. He's hanging with a new friend who I really don't care for and seems to be shutting out his old friend. It seems weird to me and I just don't understand. I also feel that maybe I'm at a different maturity rate than he is. I'm not saying that I'm so perfect and mature but I feel that with my situation and upcoming situations, I've had to grow-up a little faster. I'm being forced into the "real" world earlier than most. I mean my parents are leaving the state so I no longer have them as a crutch, I'm going to have to start paying most of the rent, especially if I have to pay for a whole apartment for two months in the summer, I haven't bought groceries in a long time and I need to sometime soon, I need a second job to keep up with payments...it's just a lot to handle at 18, not to mention that I'm balancing all that while also taking 17 units at school. And him on the other hand doesn't have to worry about any of that! He lives in the dorms so he doesn't need to worry about rent or bills, he doesn't even need to get a job if he doesn't want to. And that's not a bad thing! I mean I am glad that he doesn't have to worry about all that, and if I lived in the dorms who knows how my life would be. But I didn't get into the dorms and so things are different. And I'm not saying he is immature, I'm just saying we're growing at different rates. When I tried to explain this to him he took it the wrong way. I'm not saying that I'm so much more grown-up because I have all these responsibilities but I just feel we are at two different places. We also come from two different belief systems and as much as I wish I could change him, I know I can't. And finally, most of the time when I am sad it is because of him. Last I heard a best friend shouldn't make you cry all the time. I see other best friends and they seem like they are always having a good time and have such a strong connection. I lost that with him.
My roommate and I want to move out of our apartment complex to somewhere totally different and one of the main reasons is because we want a fresh start. And along with that fresh start and I want other fresh starts with other aspects of my life. I feel I just need to cut loose my ties with friends who bring me down. They may have been good friends at one point but now we're just in two different worlds it seems. I know I'm immature at times but I know when to become mature and I think that is where others fall short. So I'm going to try going without a best friend for a while to see how that goes. I just hate not having someone to turn to. It's like now, I have no one I can go and talk to, or cry to, or vent to. It's not a good feeling.
Now what I'm asking from you guys is...am I making the right choice in all of this? If you were in my shoes would you do the same? Should I cut ties completely or just minimize contact. When I first made this decision I wasn't that sad, however, right now, I'm very sad and I just want these dang tears to stop.





*future post and quote section will return in the next post*

New Friend

I guess you can say I have an active imagination. Oh well. I have a new friend. He's Mexican AND Italian. Yea two in one! His name is Raul and he is a ravioli. He's pretty cool. Currently, he resides on my apartment white board. He's drawn in green but really he's white with red sauce on him. He's had quite an eventful life so far. Right now he's at the shining age of 10. Just a baby in comparison to the rest of my friends. He use to live in Italy with the birthname of Luigi. However, his life almost came to an end when he found himself face to face with an angry chef. He luckily was able to dodge the menu and made his escape. He hopped onto the first cruise ship leaving Italy and kept hidden the whole time not wanting to risk being cooked. When the ship docked, Luigi quickly ran off and soon realized he was far from Italy. He was in fact, in Mexico. He figured this was his chance to start a new life. I mean, who eats ravioli in Mexico anyways? Luigi figured it best to completely diminish any part of his old life and so his first step was to change his name. So Luigi became Raul. Now Luigi's, excuse me I mean Raul, next step was to get a job. I mean you can't live without money! So he became the owner of a small taco stand near the border. What a better way to avoid being cooked. He's in charge of all the cooking so there is nothing to worry about! After he was somewhat financially stable he purchased some Mexican clothing, put on his sombrero and his poncho, and went to find a place to live. However, Raul soon realized that he couldn't possibly continue to live in Mexico because he could simply not master the Spanish language. So what did he do? He crossed the border into America and managed to travel all the way up to Fullerton, California. That's where I come into the story. I was rummaging through my cupboard when I heard a small voice trying to call out to me. I soon realized it was coming from the can of Chef Boyardee. I quickly opened the can and dumped it out and that's when I discovered Raul. He told me he was a special ravioli who was very much alive (like I couldn't tell!) and he didn't want me to eat him. Now of course I wouldn't eat Raul! I mean I felt this connection with him right away! He's my buddy, and now I keep him safe and sound in my apartment. He dreams of becoming either a world famous chef or a star on Broadway. We're still looking into the chances of a ravioli actually achieving these goals but we have high hopes.

Back in Full Swing

Winter break is finally over and what else is there to do but return back to school. Before I get into this semester I'm going to go over some things that happened last semester. Let's just say that last semester was definitely not the best and was a perfect example of what a first semester at college should NOT be like. It wasn't too horrible at the beginning. I mean I made a small group of really good friends who I will hopefully stay friends with for a majority of my college experience. Especially my friend Liz. I met her on the first day of school and she's already been there for me through a lot of stuff, and I mean a lot. But she's great and I don't know what I'd do without her. I also met people from Campus Crusade and although I was unable to be involved as much as I'd like to be, I still really enjoyed it and am looking forward to Crusade this semester. The major event that occured last semester which made it not so good was what happened in my Intro to Stagecraft class. Now that was my first mistake. I'm one of the last people that should ever have been in that class, but oh well. The teacher was ok, so I thought at first, but now I just have so much anger towards him. What happened was that he assigned us a drawing and Liz and I could not figure out how to do it so we went to my apartment after school and worked on it together. We did our own work and didn't collaborate at all. We just were working together so if we got stuck or had a question we could help one another. When our teacher returned them to us though we both had "See me after class" written on it and of course, that couldn't be good. He accused of cheating and even though both our stories matched, he determined after 5 minutes that we were lying (even when we didn't). His justification for his accusations? Our spacing was the same (we both skipped a line) so obviously we cheated. And also we both wrote the prices in the same manner as he does on quizzes (assuming that is the way he wanted things done). After this happened he never mentioned it again. Then, the last week of the semester, Liz and I both received these big scary "confidential" envelopes in the mail. Inside it told us that we had cheated and that we received a zero on the assignment. Although I thought that was unfair because I didn't do anything wrong, that wasn't what made me upset. What made me upset was that it said we had a certain amount of days after the assignment was due to appeal it. However, he reported it so late that we were already out of days and so we couldn't appeal it. It was just so underhanded the way he went about things and I am still so mad at him and as of now have no good feelings. I managed a C+ in the class and let me tell you, that was quite an accomplishment.
Now for this semester, I'm planning on working harder and accomplishing more without actually making my teachers hate me. This semester just needs to be great and that's all there is to it. Although I consider Liz one of my best friends at school we've decided not to do any sort of homework together, even if it's for two different classes. We know we didn't do anything wrong but we don't want to take any chances. This semester already started out kind of shaky with me not getting the make-up class I need but everything else seems to be going ok and I'm really looking forward to what God has in store for me this semester. As week one comes to an official end as of 30 minutes ago, I have high hopes for the months to come.


Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*Randomness of me
*Traffic
*Musicals
*National Anthem
*Inner core
*Singing
*Growing Up
*Crying
*Raul the Ravioli
*Blast from the Past
*Semi-Trucks
(I know there's a lot to write about but I'll get to them all, I promise.)


Quote:
"Happiness is felt by making other people happy"

All By Myself

After a little break I finally decided to try and attempt another entry. I'm still not really into writing right now so my apologies if this one isn't as well written as previous entries.

So, I had this idea for this post a while ago and didn't really plan on writing it anytime soon but after a request I decided to go for it anyways.
A while back, like way, way back, I hated to be alone. I never enjoyed being by myself. If I did happen to be alone I would talk on the phone or e-mail people. Even at church, I never wanted to walk around by myself. I'm not quite sure why I felt that way but it was a big part of my life for well 18 years. It wasn't until recently that I was wanting to actually be by myself. I mean when I walked around CSUF to classes I was alone but not really by choice but because there are 40,000 people around and I knew maybe like 5 of them. But I think my change of mind occured because my roommate was rubbing off on me. She would constantly go out to breakfast by herself or the movies or whatever. I always thought that was kind of odd because I could never imagine myself doing that. However, as time went on and as I slowly matured (I think I matured anyways) I began to realize being alone isn't so bad. Now I find myself wanting to be by myself now and then. To go and do something just myself. It's a good thought really, I mean you only have to worry about making plans with yourself, you don't have to worry about splitting a check, you can be spontaneous and just go whenever, and you're in the best of company. There are times when I would rather be with people, in fact most of the time I prefer company. However, being alone doesn't seem so bad. I like walking around by myself and go shopping and I think I'm even at the point where I could go catch a movie by myself if I wanted to. The best things could happen in the quiet. When I'm alone I get the chance to think a lot, I can write or read, I can sing as loud as I want, I make my own decisions, and lately I've had some amazing talks with God. These things can be done with others but for me, I do these things best when I'm alone. My advice for you, try and take time for yourself. I spend a lot of time by myself but that's not what I mean. I mean go to a restaurant by yourself or to a movie. Go for a walk, talk to yourself, even if it means people look at you like you're crazy. People look at me like I'm crazy all the time and that's perfectly ok with me. You'd be surprised at what you can learn about yourself and what you can discover and accomplish when you're by yourself. Most of the time I don't get those experiences, but hey, I'm new to this. But try it for yourselves, let me know how it works for you!



Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*School
*Randomness of me
*Traffic
*Musicals
*National Anthem
*Inner core
*Singing
*Growing Up
*Crying
*Raul the Ravioli
*Blast from the Past
(I know there's a lot to write about but I'll get to them all, I promise.)


Quote:
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."
~Booker T. Washington

Just a note

Ok I know I haven't written in a few days and although I know what I'm going to write next (a request from AJ) I can't seem to get in a writing note. But I have a lot of things to write about and I will get to them eventually. Stay tuned and I'll be back at it hopefully sometime soon. Thanks to all of you who read these! I appreciate it! Love you guys!

This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us

So today my mother told me she and my step-father had plans that night, so I was like hmm ok I will just go to the movies by myself since I was in Temecula and no one else was around. But then she told me that her plans got changed and so we all went out to dinner and then to see a movie. On our way back, we had to stop at the grocery store to pick up some laundry detergent so that I could do my laundry (go figure). As we were driving down the lovely HWY 79 I realized I hardly ever drive down far enough like I use to. We were driving and I noticed a stop light I never saw before but the thing that irritated me the most was what I saw just a bit further down. Down by our Ralphs I spotted a sign that looked vaguely familiar. That's when I turned my head towards the window and I saw the beginnings of a Best Buy. Now it's not that I have anything against Best Buy but we don't need one by the Ralphs! We don't need one in Temecula period! I mean it just looked so out of place in that small shopping center! They are also building an Office Max even though Staples is right down the street! I'm so sick of people trying to cram more and more resturants/stores/buildings/homes into Temecula! There's not enough room for it all! When I first learned the existence of Temecula it was a small town with hardly anything, not even a Walmart. But now, it just seems so over crowded! It takes forever to get anywhere due to the newly developed traffic! I just can't stand it anymore. I guess you can't really understand this frustration unless you know the Temecula area or another use-to-be small town. It's just so irritating, why do they need to keep building? We have plenty of stuff! I mean there's a Best Buy in Murrieta just 15 minutes away! It will probably take the same amount of time to jump on the freeway and drive the couple exits to Murrieta as it will to get to the one off HWY 79 because of all the new stoplights and other obscurities.
It's just so frustrating. Why fix something that doesn't need to be fixed? Just let things be.


Can't wait for that waterpark to come in! (not even kidding, they're going to build one in Temecula too!)



Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*School
*Randomness of me
*Traffic
*Solitary
*Musicals
*National Anthem
*Inner core
*Singing


Quotes:
"Laughter is my medicine. Music is my gift. Acting is my passion. True friends are my saving grace. God is my hero!"
~Ryan Boone (a friend of my brother, he had this as his myspace headline and I just found it to be moving, so I thought I'd share it.)

Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Fairest Of Them All

Last night I dyed my hair again. Yea, I know, exciting. But it got me thinking...again...yes I know, I think a lot, leave me alone. So I dyed my hair for the first time in July. Now a lot of people dye their hair to look younger or to look prettier or to catch the eye of that special someone, but that was not the case for myself. I had simply dyed my hair because I was tired of people saying that I had black hair. I do NOT have black hair! It's not that I have anything against black hair, I just don't have it. And I was sick of people telling me that I was the one who was wrong and that I cleary had black hair. Now if any of these idiotic people took the time to actually see my hair in the sun or light then they would know that I in fact had brown hair. Really, really dark brown hair, but brown hair nonetheless. Finally it got to the point where I just could not take it anymore and I wanted to do something drastic. So my friend and I made the journey to WalMart where I plopped myself down on the groud with 10 different possible hair colors to choose from. After purchasing the dye, going to my house, dying the hair, and then dry it, I realized that I wasn't prepared for such a change. I mean I know it's just hair but it would be something I was stuck with for awhile. To be honest, I don't even think my hair is so great, it's not like I ever do anything special to it anyways. But when I saw that my hair was now a distinguish brown it took me back a little bit. My hair was still dark just not as dark. I eventually got use to my hair and went on with my life. But as most hair does, it began to grow. So my true roots showed up unwelcomed and my head became two-toned. Not too pretty. Now it wasn't hideous and not even that noticeable but I knew it was there and that's all that matters. So last night my roommate and I decided to both dye our hair. I don't trust myself at all with that stuff so she did it for me. The final outcome? Not good, not bad. It didn't really cover up the dye I had in originally and the color it was suppose to be isn't really there. My hair pretty much looks the same just a tad darker. I don't really like my hair super dark but what's done is done. Now after all this I ask myself, since I care so much about my hair and how I look does that make me vain? Because I alter my appearance does that mean I'm trying to prove something or better myself? Or can people care about how they look without being considered vain? I mean my hair was fine how it was but I changed it for myself, not others. And this time, I dyed it because the color was leaving, is wanting my hair to be one solid color being vain? What constitutes someone being vain? Is vanity such a big issue we should all be concerned with or is it ok to care about we look like and thus wanting to look nice. I hope no one thinks I'm vain for dying my hair.
Good thing I only paid three bucks for the hair dye though!




Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*School
*Randomness of me



Quote:
"I hate theatre, I also hate the sight of my own blood, but it's in my veins."
~Charlie Chapman

Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice Shame On Me?

So on my way home from work this morning I was listening to a song on the radio (don't ask me which one I don't remember) and it got me thinking about second chances. I don't really even think that the song I was listening to had anything to do with second chances, but that's just how my mind works. But to the point now, when is it right to give someone a second chance and when is it a one shot deal? Many of you have heard the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" but is that always true? Under what circumstances do people not deserve a second chance? And when do they deserve one? In reference to my title of this particular post, if I give someone a second chance when they've done me wrong and then they go and do it again, is it really my fault? Or should we all be entitled to second chances and if we blow it then it's our own faults and not the faults of those who were generous enough to give us another chance. And then how many chances is to many? I hear about people who were cheated on but they still took their boyfriend/girlfriend back only to have it happen over and over again. Does anyone ever learn a lesson is we are constantly given/giving second (third,fourth,fifth) chances? My thoughts in the matter are that it just depends. If someone kills another man I'm not going to just give him a gun and say it's ok, I'll give you another chance only to have him kill someone else. I'm not dumb. But if I make a mistake and I am sincerely sorry about it, I expect to be given another chance. Now I'm not saying I'm going to go cheat on a boyfriend and expect to be taken back (mainly because I would never cheat on anyone). But I don't really believe in once a cheater always a cheater (unless I was the one cheated on because that's a different circumstance) but if I start a new relationship with someone who had in the past cheated on someone, I'd be willing to give them a chance. People make mistakes and people grow-up. It's all part of life, it just takes others longer to figure things out and get there act in order.
So my overall message I guess is, when is it ok to give second chances and is does everyone deserve them?




Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*School
*Randomness of me
*Vanity



Quote:
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"
~John Lennon

And If I Die Before I Wake

It's amazing how quickly things can change that alter our lives. You can be having an awesome day, everything going the way it should and then all of a sudden you get a call from someone and your world comes crashing down. Tonight while me and my roommate were hanging out her brother called her. She's been worried about her family lately because both her aunt and he grandmother were diagnosed with breast cancer. She had talked to her brother earlier today just to talk so I knew that another call from him in the night was not a good sign. I listened to her side of the conversation when I heard the not so good anticipated gasp and I just knew something was wrong. She told me her grandmother had just passed away. My roomie's been handling it ok but I know it will hit her more once she goes home and is with her family. Now I didn't know her grandmother but I know she was a woman with life just flowing from her. I could tell from the way my roommate spoke about her and from the card we've had on our fridge from her just writing to say hello. I feel sad for my roommate because I know what a loss this must be.
This whole thing got be thinking though, as most things do. It really brings to mind the saying "live life to the fullest". I mean sometimes life gets you down and it's hard to get back up but if we live our lives laying down then we can really miss out on the finer things in life. If I die early, or when I die at all, I want people to remember me as someone who just lived a good life, who although went through some hard times, made the best of everything. And if I were to lose someone close to me, I'd want to make sure that I made every day spent with them something to remember for always. I mean if I don't live life with some kind of bright spirits and hopeful outlooks then I could've missed out on some of my most cherished experiences. And if I don't spend quality time with people then how will anyone ever know how I feel about them. So never take anything for granted. There's always something to be thankful for and always something to live for. I love you all. Prayers for my roommate Cassie would be much appreciated. Thank you.


Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*School
*Randomness of me
*Vanity



Quote:
"Tell that someone that you love, just what you're thinking of, if tomorrow never comes."
~Garth Brooks

You're Going To Hollywood

It's that time again, yes, American Idol time. I remember my freshman year of highschool when that show first aired. I loved the show and I watched it all the time and even voted. Kelly Clarkson won and I love her and her music. Then came season two- five and with them thousands and thousands of hopeful singers just wanting to make their dreams come true. Ever since that first episode I always wanted to go audition for it. I even began thinking of a song I would choose as my audition song. It's not as though I thought/think I could ever become thee American Idol but I always wanted to do it just to see how far I could go. I mean people have told me I sing well but I don't know, I always have this thing inside of me saying that people may just be telling me what I want to hear. Now in some instances that may be the truth and in some not. But I just wanted to go audition and if I didn't make it through I was always going to ask "Was I at least better than someone", it's not that I want to be better than people, but if I am better than someone then that must mean I have some bit of talent. When I started school in Temecula a lot of people from my choir or choirs before then would go and audition only to have their dreams crushed by the pre-judges. Every time that happens I ask myself, what happened to my dream? Didn't I once upon a time want to be a singer? Isn't singing what I love to do the most? From karaoke to worship at church, singing is my thing. But another season of American Idol will come and go and I will be here, on my couch, watching yet another group of people either reach their dreams or have them crushed. It shall be interesting to see who will be our supposedly next "Idol".


Future Posts:
*Apartments
*Jobs
*School
*Random thoughts of me....doorbells/spinning in circles....exciting...I know.


Quote:
"The bravest thing you can do is dare to be yourself"

There's No Place Like Home

I just finished watching the movie The Terminal and I loved it! But the last line of the movie is what inspired tonights (almost tomrrows) post. "I'm going home. I'm going home" and the way he said it was just so impactful. You know, he said it after a long thoughtful pause and then just said he wanted to go home. And it got me to start thinking about the importance and meaning of the word home. And while I'm thinking about it, certain catch phrases crept into my mind like "A house is not a home" and "Home is where the heart is". But what do I really feel about the word home? I throw it around loosely but do I really mean it all the time when I say it? I remember one day when I was talking with my friend Ryan and I had said something like "I have to go home before my next class" or something like that. And he said that it was funny that I was already calling my apartment home when I had only been living there for like a month. Every time I call my apartment in Fullerton home, I think about that. I mean is home really somewhere where the heart is? Or is it just a place where you go at night, a place where you live. I mean I considered my "home" in San Diego when I lived there. But then I moved, so did that mean my house in Temecula was considered "home"? Or was Temecula just home because that's where my family was? I mean how funny is it that every where you go it automatically becomes home? Should home be a matter of the heart or a matter of location? I think, home really is where the heart is, where the people you love and care about most in the world reside. I think San Diego, Temecula, and now Fullerton is my home, heck the whole state of California is my home. There's no other place I'd rather be. But I think when I do say I'm heading home, and I mean my apartment I think it is just because there is no other word for it.
Now while I was writing this it got me thinking about other things that people do or say loosely. Like the word "love" does it really lose its significance if it's just thrown around carelessly, if I tell everyone I see boy or girl that I love them all the time and even if I'm in a relationship and we get to the "i love you" stage if we say it ALL the time after every sentence does it lose its meaning? And sex, for people that sleep around or just have sex a lot with their boyfriend, doesn't it lose its specialness for the wedding night?
I know love and sex are in a whole different category than a home, but they are things that are for most of the time treated carelessly when they should be things that should be thought fondly and with affection.
Sorry if I rambled and didn't make sense 100% of the time.


*Future Posts*
*If any of the future posts i've mention in other posts seem interesting let me know and I'll write about it. Otherwise it may be awhile till I get to them.


Quote (and my new motto):
"I'll eat some breakfast, then, change the world."- Hairspray

That Ain't No Stranger He's Family

So tonight I did something that probably wasn't the smartest of choices but I felt compelled to do it nonetheless. I was leaving the Pointe aftermath at In & Out at around um let's just say 9:15 and I was pulling out of my parking spot when I see this homeless man walking down across the parking lot pushing a shopping cart just piled with stuff. I was kind of with myself for recently cleaning out my car so I didn't have all my normal stash of water bottles because I could have given him the bottles to recycle rather than just throw them away. But I didn't have anything but 2 big water bottles stilled filled with water. I knew it probably wouldn't be the safest thing in the world to approach this guy but I wanted to anyway. So I drove up to him with my window partially open and I asked him if he wanted some bottles to collect even if they did have water in them. He told me he already had water and he didn't need anything and then he said God Bless and I drove away. I felt really good inside, even if I didn't actually do anything to help, maybe, just maybe he could have slept a little easier at night knowing that some people do care about him. I like to do nice things for people.



Future Posts:
*Apartment/Apartment Hunting
*Job
*Cheating Scandal
*Doorbells
*Spinning in Circles to Make Decisions


Quote:
"Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave."

I Don't Fail Classes, I Fail Life

Ok, I know, the title is a bit dramatic but I don't really care! I'm am so very irritated, discouraged, upset, frustrated, let-down, and any other words that are synonyms to those listed! I just got all my grades for my first semester of college, and if you can't tell by now, I'm not very happy with the results! Here's the final grades and with them my thoughts:
ART OF THEATRE: B+: I was expecting an A so getting a B was not really something I celebrated.
INTRO TO STAGECRAFT: C+: Ok so I know I haven't posted the "Cheating Scandal" yet but for those who do, you know I should be thankful I didn't fail the class. And don't get me wrong, I'm extremely glad I passed the class but I thought with all the hard work I put into that class from staying up night after night after night and putting in 30 hours in the Scenic Lab I could have at least managed a B-.
ORAL COMM OF LITERATURE: B: Not much to say on this because I expected a B and so that is what I got and I'm perfectly ok with it.
PRODUCTION & PERFORMANCE 478B: A: Yea I was expecting that too and the class really wasn't that challenging so not too much of an accomplishment.
COLLEGE ALGEBRA: C+: Yea so I knew I had a C the whole semester but I thought with the last bit of hw and the extra credit and the excused assignments and the final I could have brought it up to a B but yea guess I was wrong.
A
B
B
C
C
GPA: 2.87
That was the killer...the GPA, I have never NEVER NEVER gotten lower than a 3.0, now that I think of it, I've never ever had a 3.0! I don't even know how this happened. I mean I'd understand if I slacked off the whole semester and never did anything but NO! I actually tried and like it doesn't even matter! This is seriously the most horrible thing to happen yet! Even worse than the cheating thing! I didn't even fail a class! I mean those grades are decent! But will my mother see that?? NOPE! She won't care. And I just don't know what to do and I've hit so many roadblocks in this college experience that now I realize why a lot of college freshman drop out. It's just so hard to continue for something and work hard for it when so many things are against you. I wish graduation was here so I can just move to Mexico and not worry about even of this anymore!




*Due to the frustration of this note I am skipping the future posts and quote section...they will return on my next post.

Now I Have Two Forks In My Cheesecake

Ok so the other day...Moday...my roommate, our friend, and myself decided to make a cheesecake run so we made our trek to the Cheesecake Factory and ordered our wonderfully delicious cheesecake. On our way back we were like hey let's go get some Golden Spoon too! Yea afterwards we realized that, that was probably not the best of ideas but oh well. So anyways, later in the night I went to get my left over cheesecake out of the fridge and I also went to get a fork for it. When I went to sit down however and I realized that there already was a fork in my cheesecake that I left in there from earlier. For some reason, I thought this was a quite funny event and I was like hey, there is the title of my next post.
Ok now I'm going to try to turn the meaning of my story in a somewhat philosophical message.
How many times do we ask for something for Christmas or our birthdays that we know we don't need and once we have we forget we have it. I know that it has happened to me numerous times. And then not only do we forget what we have but then we go and buy something similar only to have two things lie forgotten in our closets or under our beds. Now how lame is that? I mean some people have absolutely nothing and would love to have even a smidge of what we have yet they don't and we have so much that means nothing to us. It really isn't fair huh? I mean if I could, I'd give away just about everything in my closet right now because I hardly use any of it and I don't even know what is in there anymore. But I would really have to go through it first to confirm that I didn't give anything of personal meaning to me. Still, it isn't very fair, even with the right mind set, even the greatest of missionaries have trouble giving away some of their belongings. We always have more than we need, and that's just the way it will be. We can make a difference for some, but there will always be those who ask and ask and ask for stuff they don't need, will never use, and will end up forgotten.


Future Posts:
*Apartment/Apartment hunting
*Job
*Cheating Scandal
*Doorbells
*Spinning in circles to make decisions

Quote:
"Put your faith in what you most believe in"- Tarzan the musical.

Doubt me, I dare you

So for those of you who do not know yet last week (well 12/28-1/1) I was down in San Diego at a Winter Conference for Campus Crusade for Christ. It was an amazing experience and I had a great time. I got to meet a lot new people and I got a lot closer to others. You could really feel God working wonders there with a lot of people but to be honest I didn't really feel it until about the second to last night. On that night during our main session they spoke about going to different parts of the country for spring break, a summer project, or STINT (a year long project). Anyways for some reason just sitting there looking ahead in the pamphlet and I saw that they did programs in Mexico City. Right away I just knew that, that was what I was being called to do. Now I really enjoy going on mission trips and I feel that, that is how God is using be right now but I don't really see it as something I dedicate my life to. However, when I saw that I could live in Mexico for a year something inside of me just clicked and I knew that is what I wanted to do. So right then and there I made the decision that I would move down to Mexico City for a year once I graduate from college. Now some of you might think that I won't go through with this and if you think that it is fine with me because then I can just prove you wrong. But I really feel this is what I want to do and so I am going to make it happen. Now if you do believe I can do it, support and encouragement is appreciated. I know that it will still be about 4 years from now but that is a long time to have my mind be changed or things to occur that will move me from my decision. So keep me in your prayers that I can and will follow through and move to Mexico City. And if you doubt me, that is cool to, just be prepared to apologize for trying to bring me down. Thank you!


Future Posts:
*Apartment
*Job
*Cheating Scandal
*Doorbells
*Cheesecake and too many forks


Quote:
"Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose."